Misunderstandings and twilight love affairs
by jright
Summary: Bella is already a vampire but hasn't met the Cullen's yet. She is however good friends with the Denali family and while the Cullen's are visiting them they all cross paths with each other. And shenanigans ensue with lots of misunderstandings. Switches POV's. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;] **

_Summary: I know I have been gone a while but I'm back with something new and fresh. Now I have heard many Bella's a vampire stories most of which included her dating one of the other Cullen's either as their mate or their long lost daughter or sister which I thought while an interesting concept they just seemed like they would be really awkward and uncomfortable. Something that just kept nagging at me was the idea that Bella is already a vampire but hasn't met the Cullen's yet. She is however good friends with the Denali family and while the Cullen's are visiting them they all cross paths with each other. And shenanigans ensue with lots of misunderstandings. Switches POV's. Enjoy! _

_P.S. I know that they're some serious Jacob fans out there, if you are, I am warning you now so you won't be disappointed. I will mention some of the wolf pack, and they may or may not have a run in with them in the story, but there won't be any major Bella/Jacob scenes in here I am sorry. When the story came to me it just didn't include them, I admit I'm biased toward Edward. I haven't decided if I will find a way to include Renesmee, I'll figure that as I go but due to the nature of the story I'm not sure if I will be able to, without it being weird. I might just mention Jacob being the new pack leader with a wolf mate named Renesmee. Don't know yet, we shall see._

Twilight- Lost in translation

Chapter 1: Surprises!

Edwards POV:

We finally decided that we would visit the Denali's for Christmas, our extended vampire family. Yes, vampire, my family and I are vampires. Not in the traditional sense of the word (meaning stakes, sleeping in coffins, and burning in the sunlight). We sparkle in the sunlight (no pun intended, It wasn't our choice), we can't sleep at all, and we don't have fangs (they are ridiculous). We are faster than a speeding car, stronger than a bulldozer, and our eyes change color. If you drink human blood, your eyes are red and when you get hungry they turn black. If you are like our family (there aren't very many) and are vegetarian ( meaning we don't drink from humans) then a year after your change your eyes turn from red to gold; though our eyes still fade to black as we grow more hungry. We can go weeks after hunting without blood. Some members of my family and other vampires as well also have special gifts. My sister Alice can see the future according to your decisions, as you change your mind so do her visions, and my brother Jasper can feel and manipulate moods; he can make you feel angry, happy, sad, mad, you get the point. My "father" for all intents and purposes, Carlisle, believes that we brought these things over from our human lives. I can read minds, he believes I must have been very perceptive to people thoughts when I was human and it was intensified when I changed into a vampire.

Carlisle changed most of us, there are seven in our "family" (we prefer family over coven), he changed his wife Esme, she was dying after she tried to jump off of a cliff, she had just lost a child (all she's ever wanted was children, as a vampire we can't have them we are frozen the way we are, we do our best to be her surrogate children), she went on to become his mate. He saved me first however, I was dying of the Spanish influenza, and my mother, he figured, must have known what he was for she begged him to do all "He" could do to save my life. He changed me in 1901 in Chicago, IL (_that might have been when he was born, again, I apologize if I got this detail wrong_) when I was only seventeen.

Next was Esme, then Rosalie, Rosalie was raped by her drunk fiancé' and his idiot friends, and left in the street dying, Carlisle changed her to be a mate for me and to save her life (mates, meaning soul mate to a vampire the only one a vampire will love for all of eternity) she never became my mate, we didn't feel that way for each other. In fact at first she resented us highly, she, like Esme, wanted children desperately and if she couldn't have them she didn't want to have been saved at all. That is, until she found Emmett, he had been mauled by a bear in the woods, it took all her will power to drag him back to the house and pleaded for Carlisle to change him (she couldn't do it herself because when you bite someone, it's like being a shark, one taste and it starts a frenzy. You want to keep drinking, in order to change someone you have to stop and since we have venom like snakes you have to let it spread. All the while the victim feels a burning sensation through his body, for three days, until the process is complete and they awaken a vampire. It's very hard to do, and only Carlisle can), he was a bubbly happy carefree personality; we instantly loved him though he drives us all crazy.

Jasper and Alice came to us. Alice is still a mystery, even she doesn't know how she was changed all she knows is that she woke up a vampire and had a vision of meeting Jasper. Jasper was born in the south and became a soldier, during the war he was evacuating people when a woman named Maria found him, as he tried to help her she bit him and made him a vampire she wanted to take over the area so she made an army of vampires to do it. She made Jasper think she was his mate and that they were a team for his gift was of great use to her, she could control the newborns(new vampires not actual newborn babies) better with him. But as time wore on even though they were successful Maria didn't let the newborns live longer than a year (they were stronger in the first year, after that their strength wanes to a normal vampires strength), the emotions of the newborns and the agony and fear they felt when he had to kill them wore on Jaspers heart; he helped one of his friends escape Maria and then left himself. Alice found him in a diner a little while later and they came to find us as she had a vision of us all together. The two of them have been mates ever since.

Even though Jasper is new to this life and still struggling with the diet of animal instead of human, he is working hard and we love both him and Alice. Carlisle is the best of us all he is the oldest of all of us and a preachers son, he was helping his father to hunt vampires when he was captured himself; thankfully, the vampire was interrupted (it's been a while since I read the first book but I believe that's what they said happened. If I've gotten this wrong I don't mind anyone messaging me politely with the correct version), and he was able to hide away he kept himself quiet and hidden knowing that his father would kill him if he found him. He tried to kill himself many times, even tried to starve himself, but nothing would work when he was finally too weak to not feed he found a heard of deer and ate from them when he found his strength returning and his hunger mostly quenched he knew he had found a new way to survive this life. He traveled the world and even met the vampire royalty, the ones who made the only two laws we have to abide by, no killing conspicuously, and no exposing who we are to humans. Though they were too vicious for him stay with, he learned a lot, and kept his aversion to human blood. He even became a doctor and now helps save lives with his elevated senses.

He gave us all a second chance and even though there are parts about this life we all don't enjoy we have made the most of it; accumulating great wealth and education over the many, many years. Now we live in Forks, Washington about four hours north of Seattle, it was the only one of the only states in North America with only 2-3 days of sunlight a year.

We are currently in the car, visiting our friends. We did this mostly on the insistence of Alice. I personally would have preferred to just stay home; I wasn't in a very festive mood anyway. Besides Tanya would be there. Tanya has been like family to us, but I know she's wanted to be more than family with me. Her family and ours met decades ago and they became our surrogate cousins of sorts. Their family is made up of Carmen and Eleazar who are mates and Tanya, Kate, and Irina who are sisters. Kate just recently found her mate in an old friend of the Emmett's named Garrett; he's even taken to vegetarianism with them. Eleazar used to be a part of the vampire royal family, the Volturi, but he, like Carlisle, saw the dark side of the volturi, and also found his mate so he made his exit.

Tanya, Kate, and Irina lost their mother to the volturi over a century ago; their mother committed the crime of making an immortal child or a vampire baby, but as they could never mature or come into their right minds they devastated many villages and risked exposure so the volturi killed the babies and their mother for creating them, it was a terrible heart breaking loss. Carmen is also their sister; she met up with them again after she found Eleazar and their mother died. They have all been together ever since. We all met up many decades age and have remained very close visiting each other whenever we get the chance. Now as we are on our way to see them I can't help thinking of the dreaded encounter I will have to deal with, in terms of Tanya. As lovely and beautiful as she is I've just never felt that kind of connection with her; it's not her fault, I haven't felt that connection with anyone. Esme has always worried that something was missing from my essential make-up; that maybe I was too young when Carlisle changed. I do not know whether that was true or not, but it wasn't like I didn't want one.

I've been in a family full of perfectly matched soul mates for over a hundred years. It begins to wane on you when you're the only one left out alone, but I have learned many things to fill my time. I have learned more languages, a part from Carlisle of course, read the most books, gotten the most degrees. I had to find something to do to drown out the late night "sounds" if you know what I mean. Especially when it comes to Rosalie and Emmett. When mates first meet each other, at first, they are not sure, but there are signs (like enjoying each other's sent, electricity shooting through your body when you touch, and not being able to be apart for long periods of time or long distances apart), and when you finally figure it out new mates are very, physical, for lack of a more appropriate word. It took over a decade for any of us to want to be in the same room as Emmett and Rosalie, and they destroyed plenty of houses.

Needless to say I would love someone of my own, but all signs have been showing that I wouldn't likely find ever find her. Not all vampires have mates many travel as nomads because steady diets of human blood make you more hostile and uncivilized to live together in large groups. Some travel in groups of three to maximize the amount of safety and likelihood of survival. While we can't necessarily be killed by humans; especially seeing as our skin is harder than granite and completely imperishable, nothing is strong enough to break it, except for other vampires. Other vampires can tear us to pieces and burn the remains (it's the only way to kill us), which is why we don't like to travel completely alone, some vampires are territorial and will kill if anyone comes into their territory, and some just like to pick fights for any reason, or to take over control of an area; though the volturi hammered out most of the territory wars as they threatened exposure.

My reality however is not that dramatic, or filled with that much danger. With a family as gifted, trained, and large as ours, picking fights with us would be a death sentence. Jasper taught us all he knows from the vampire wars, and I can read your mind to see any attacks you would make before you could execute them. Alice would see them coming a mile away, as soon as they decided to get close. Rosalie is lethal even without a gift, though I believe her gift is her self-centered, pigheadedness which she brought over into this life with her astounding beauty. Emmett is a huge bear of a man about 6'7' tall and built to kill with muscles that would make the most trained fighter cower in fear, he brought he strength over into this life. Carlisle is too compassionate, which is what he brought into this life; he hate to kill any living things, which is something I admire most about him. Esme is a motherly loving figure who brought her incredible ability to love any and every one into this life; just thinking of her fighting or someone trying to hurt her makes me flinch and growl in anger.

Esme truly has become our mother. We even fight over who we think she loves the most, and though she says she has no favorite, Emmett always grumbles that I'm her favorite since I was with her the longest, and she's more sensitive to me. I think it's only because I'm alone and she worries I will get too lonely and leave, which I would never do to her again. I left once a very long time ago, when I was first changed. I rejected the non-human blood diet and went out on my own. I justified it by only going after who I deemed monsters in the human world; a.e: rapists, murderers, and sometimes even thieves. It began to wane on me though, I could hear their thoughts and fears, and even their victims that I saved saw me as a monster though they were ultimately thankful in the end when they realized I saved them. Eventually I couldn't take the guilt anymore, and went back to Carlisle and Esme; they welcome me back like the prodigal son which I didn't deserve. I have never left since, but I will admit the thought has crossed my mind before; that they would be better off without the grumpy old man that I have become over all this time. Every time it does Alice sees it, and steals all my credit cards, bags, and some of my clothes for a few days until I change my mind, but ultimately it's Esme that keeps me here. I know it would break her heart if I left and I just can't bring myself to do it.

"Finally we are almost there," Rosalie groaned from the front passenger seat ,"thanks to that fallen tree on the highway, and that ridiculous detour it feels like it took us ages to get here."

We were all crammed in Emmett's Jeep wrangler. The car is actually quite spacious, but after a long flight, an hour wait at the rental company, and an even longer drive to get to the house it felt as if we were all trapped in a tiny box. We were restless to get away from each other, Esme and Carlisle got it easier; they got a separate rental, a Mercedes town car, all to themselves. We weren't very original on the cars, they are the exact same as the ones we have at home.

"Hey Eddie, I think I see the house up a head, I bet Tanya's waiting for you. Possibly naked," Emmett chuckled from the driver's seat.

"Shut-up Emmett, and don't call me Eddie," I rolled my eyes, thankfully Rosalie granted me mercy and hit him upside the head.

"I think Tanya will be the last of Edward's worries during our visit this year," Alice smirked looking out of the window and bouncing in her seat. Jasper took her hand shaking his head in amusement; he was used to her over excited nature after all the dreary and pain filled life he was forced into he cherishes the happiness she brings. Even though, with his gift of feeling and manipulating people's emotions, her constant happiness can be exhausting.

She's been blocking her thoughts all week with fashion ideas and Christmas decorations, and to think she promised Esme she wouldn't go overboard this year. Then again Alice will be Alice, and by Alice I mean a hyperactive perfectionist that looks like a short spikey black-haired pixie.

"Are you going to finally tell me what you're hiding Alice?" I said looking over at her. Everyone in the car looked at us in confusion for a second; then either grunted in annoyance, or rolled their eyes; they were used to our psychic interactions. I can hear her thoughts and she can see what I'll say next so we can talk to each other privately and no one else can disturb us; at first jasper was uncomfortable with it, but I assured him that we didn't talk about much and that I had no inappropriate intentions towards Alice. She was strictly my sister (_I always felt like Jasper should have been a little uncomfortable with that connection even though him and Alice are 100% mates that to me just seemed little awkward for him. So I put it in there, I wasn't alluding to anything so no Alice/Jasper fans curse me out please_).

"Oh, hush Edward; you don't have to know everything. If you did life would be boring," she said shooting me a look. We finally pulled up to the house and park the car in the drive way. The house was beautiful about as big as our house. It was a large craftsman style tan house with bring accents on the large porch and around the four car garage. The Denali's came outside to greet us at the door.

"Carlisle, we are so pleased you could come and visit us this year for Christmas," Eleazar boomed from the doorway as we came up the steps. Carlisle smiled and chuckled at him as they shook hands and hugged.

Tanya stepped forward and ushered us all into the house, "you should have seen Irina and Kate; for the past two weeks they have been decorating like matching tornados, I told them not to bother, Alice was on her way."

Everyone chuckled as Alice stuck her tiny tongue out at her teasingly, "I just want to help; I have a good feeling about this year, just you wait."

"Of course you do. You always do, " Emmett said as he flopped down on the couch taking off his jacket.

"Don't be such a cave man Emmett; you would think you were raised by wolves," Esme grumbled at him from the kitchen. I knew immediately what she was going to jump into; ever since Esme learned to cook, she and Kate set up shop in the kitchen making a boatload of food to take down to the shelter for Christmas dinner. Esme has such a big warm heart. It made me smile as I thought of the Christmas present I got for her; that was going to be delivered and installed in the house while we are away. I have cameras set up around the house to make sure they don't try to take anything while we are gone, and also to make sure it gets there on time.

I hung my jacket up in the closet and moved around to the couches, Garrett; Kate's new mate was sitting there next to Emmett.

"Garrett, I heard you had snuck your way up here and charmed the pants off our dear cousin Kate . . . literally," Emmett said howling with laughter.

"Emmett!" Esme snapped from the kitchen; she looked over at Kate, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I don't know what to do with him."

"No it's all right misses C, "Garrett smirked on the couch, "he's been waiting for me to sweep him off his feet for a while now, sorry Em but you're just not my type."

"What! No!" Emmett grumbled glaring at a chuckling Garrett, "You and me, wrestling, outside, now, it's been a while since I've kicked your ass!"

"Correction, you have never kicked my ass, but I will take pleasure in kicking yours now," Garrett smiled and in the blink of an eye they were out slamming each other into the snow.

Kate and Rosalie rolled their eyes, "This is going to be a long Christmas," Kate sighed.

"You're telling me, at least for you it will end when we go home, I'm not so lucky," Rosalie pouted as she plopped down on the couch pulling a magazine into her lap and started flipping through.

Eleazar and Carlisle had already retired into the study to go over their various new theories and interest that they had been looking into recently. Those two were always after something new that they found intriguing or interesting. Alice, Tanya, and Irina were pulling more decorations out of the attic, not that more was needed, and going through the new decorations that Carmen and Tanya had just bought. The tree they had was very nicely dressed, but Alice was already fussing about it making alterations and adding more tensile. I shook my head and went over to the bookcase on the far wall, I was in the middle of picking out a new book when out of the corner of my eyes I saw Garrett and Emmett freeze.

"_Edward, I think someone's coming, I can smell it_!" Emmett thought at me.

"_I don't think it's a human, it smells like vampire_," Garrett thought.

I looked over at Alice and finally I understood what she had been hiding she was beaming from ear to ear like if Jasper told her he bought her the entire _Dolce & Gabbana_ winter collection.

"What's going on Alice; who is it?" I demanded.

"Don't get your boxers in a bunch Edward, I believe Kate forgot something," Alice said gesturing to her. Kate stood up from the couch frowning at her.

"I don't know what-oh!" Kate jumped up and flew outside.

"_Oh they are going to frighten her, all of them being here at once_," Kate worried, as she stood at the edge of the woods surrounding the back of their property. I couldn't get anything more than worried and surprised reactions from the Denali's minds until Eleazar and Carlisle stepped out of the study and came into the room.

"While on their honeymoon in Dubai last spring, Kate and Garrett made a new friend. She came back with them and we got the pleasure of meeting her," Eleazar explained watching Kate outside, "she was quite a lovely girl, we all made very good friends with her, we would have told you about it, but she prefers privacy, I'm sure you understand ."

Carlisle shook his head, "Of course, I know many vampires that wish to stay quietly to themselves."

"She had just got done meeting the Volturi on top of that, and she's always had a problem trusting other vampires," Eleazar continued, " I'll let her explain why. We invited her to spend Christmas with us since she's all by herself. She has a few friends here and there, but no real place to stay. She agreed much to our delight, but that was a month ago, and we forgot to inform her that you were joining us when you called two weeks ago."

"Oh, I hope we don't scare her off," Esme frowned worried.

"Kate will catch her before she gets the wrong impression," Carmen smiled, wrapping her arm around Esme's shoulder.

As I turned back around to the window I saw what could only be described as the most divine and heavenly creature break through the tree line and into the back yard.


	2. Chapter 2: And You Are?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;]**

_A/N: I am on Thanks Giving break so will be trying to put up as many chapters as possible, but I have classes and finals coming up so it will probably drop to one to two chapters a week at least for a while. But trust me your patience will be rewarded_.

Chapter 2: And you are?

EPOV:

She had waves of deep mahogany hair that spiraled and curled and uncurled down her back. She stood at a mere 5'5' with legs that, while not actually that tall, seemed to go on for miles. They were incased in a pair of skin tight, damn near painted on, black vinyl and spandex pants that flowed with the delicate curve of her legs. I could see she had something tucked behind her that she was holding in her hands. She had on a distressed black leather jacket made in an almost jean jacket style with a flap down the middle of the top, and buttons on side of the zipper going down the center. On her feet she wore black leather booties with a short heal. Her skin was the same trademark of all our kind delicate looking but hard as granite yet even I could tell she must have been very fair when she was human because she was almost beyond translucent now.

Her face was a soft heart-shape. Her beautiful eyes were perfectly sculpted shimmering gold almonds scanning the surrounding area, when I looked into them it felt as if I were being sucked inside their depths and dragged into her. Her nose was a gently sloping pointed shape not too pointed or narrow but set perfectly into her face. Last, but certainly not least, her lips; a vibrant crisp candy apple red, thin but luscious, a delectable cupids bow. The only flaw within wasn't even a flaw, but more a quirk I'm sure she had even as a human, her bottom lip was slightly fuller and out of proportion to her top lip. It was magnetic, like I was literally being dragged forward towards the windows to get a better view, though I didn't need it I could see her clearly, from here; I could also see her panic. I could hear Kate's voice as she approached her slowly.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I'm sure this is a little overwhelming," Kate said still moving slowly, showing Bella she meant no harm and staying in her direct line of sight.

"Our friends the Cullen's, the ones I told you about last time you were here, surprised us two weeks ago and told us they wanted to spend Christmas with us. I forgot that you were also coming and didn't know they would be here. They mean you no harm, the Cullen's are vegetarians like us, in fact they have been at it longer than we have."

Bella, I could tell was weighing her options as she surveyed the house, Garrett and Emmett were still outside and I mentally cursed the fact they most importantly Emmett was the one outside. They both look similar but Emmett has such a hulking menacing figure even with the innocent face, and short curly brown locks. I was thankful however that Jasper was inside with us, she wouldn't be able to truly see him from his position inside the house. Jasper was perhaps the most menacing and disturbing one of us all. He is actually very handsome, he looks very much like a college boy with honey blonde hair that has gold streaks in it, and a thin oval face with prominent gold/topaz eyes and thin constantly smirking lips. He stands at a medium height of 6'7' with the stiff boxed look of an ex-soldier. It isn't these things that make him menacing, it's the smattering of bite marks from the many vampire battles he was in while he was with Maria. It catches people off guard about him, he is about a friendly as a cuddly bear now, however he is still always weary, and like Bella He finds it hard to trust new people and gets uncomfortable in places with lots of vampires. That is why we haven't taken him to meet the Volturi in Volterra, Italy; it wouldn't have gone over very well with him.

Bella stepped forward but only slightly, she was half way in a crouched escape position ready to bolt at any sign of danger, "If you have family over I don't want to intrude, I wouldn't want to make the festivities awkward or uncomfortable."

He voice is like a smattering of bells lightly ringing in the air. It wasn't until I heard her speak that I realized I had been so focused on the interaction I had completely ignored the fact that I wasn't hearing any thought from her. How odd was that. I knew, in a tense situation like this she would be thinking a whole slew of things, how many of us she thought there were, what the best options of escape were, whether or not she could trust Kate's word. But, as she stood there and I focused all my senses on her I got absolutely nothing. Not even a muted thought like I realized I was getting from Charles Swan, the local police chief of Forks. Was something wrong with me, was I losing my gift. I realized quickly that wasn't the case as I could still hear everyone else's worried thoughts and Alice was smirking and bouncing in excitement as she sang the National anthem in her mind. I narrowed my eyes and at and she thought the word patience at me. I rolled my eyes, I would have to figure out my little problem later, I wanted to focus on whether or not Bella would stay.

"That's nonsense," Kate said shaking her head, " we let Emmett stay and he's been making things awkward all day," Emmett growled at her, but it made Bella crack a little bit of a smile even in her rigid stance, "please stay, the only reason it slipped my mind was because Alice, that's one of the Cullen's has been drilling us with details for decorations and shopping trips and a bunch of other craziness for the past to two weeks, could barely think about whether or not I brushed my hair, let alone if someone else was coming."

Alice huffed and rolled her eyes, "I'm not that bad!"

"Yes you are," everyone in the house caroused at the same time. Again this made Bella crack a smile and look over at us through the window. Our eyes locked on each other and for a second a bomb could have gone off and I wouldn't have even been able to turn my head, that is, if I even noticed. Her eyes were so deep and penetrating. She broke our stare down and looked back at Kate.

Kate pushed her lips out in a perfect puppy dog pout bringing her clasped hands up to her chin, "Pretty, pretty please. I promise we don't bite."

I felt when Jasper sent out a persuasive push accompanied by peace out into her direction, I could tell the moment it hit someone as their whole body would relax and they would blink. It hit Bella and she straightened form her semi-crouch and sighed.

She chuckled a little and I marveled at the sound committing it to memory. Finally after what seemed like forever she stepped forward, and hugged Kate.

"Fine, well, Merry Christmas," she smiled pulling back.

BPOV:

What have I gotten myself into? This was supposed to be a fun Christmas hanging out with Kate and her family, plus the newly added Garrett who was awesome and fun to hang out with. Is that what's happening now, no. No, right now I'm heading into a house filled with vampires I have never met before. The whole idea of keeping to myself; was so instances like this wouldn't happen. I remember why I've always stayed away from lots of vampires. I remember when I was changed. It was three days before my birthday, and I was shopping in Port Angeles, Washington getting familiar with the shops and the area. I had decided to take a year off before college, just to get my head on straight, I had been accepted to many places, but I felt that I needed to take a break. My mom hadn't pressured me about it, but then again I didn't expect her to. When it came to Renee Dwyer she was wasn't exactly what you would called the model mother, I spent most of my time being a mother to her, keeping the bills paid, grocery shopping, working at a bunch of jobs to help with rent. I worked hard to keep her centered while she tried to be a modern day free spirit, just off a hippie, but without the bizarre rainbow and tie-died shirts, or the peace and love. My mother had just remarried to a bit of a younger man named phil. Phil seemed really nice, and he also treated my mom well and made her happy so it didn't bother me that they got married. He was a minor league baseball player, decent but clearly strictly minor league. He traveled a lot, and I knew staying with me was wearing thin on my mom though she would never say so. She was still a good mother. So I felt it was time I moved in with dad at least until I went back to school next fall.

My dad was the exact opposite of my mom; he was always very steady. My dad was a man a few words and never liked to show his feelings though I knew he loved me a lot and missed that I didn't see him more often. He lived in Fork, Washington, a small barely population town that hardly ever gets any sunlight. I hated forks with a passion, while it had some good areas, like the Quileute Native American reservation where my dad's best friend lives. I grew up there and they have some of the most beautiful beaches I'd ever seen, plus I had a few friends (that were more like family at that point) that I hung out with while I was there. Other than that I tried to avoid Forks, eventually putting my foot down and begging my dad to visit me in Jacksonville, Florida where mom and I lived instead.

Both of them were surprised when I announced that I wanted to move in there. Mom insisted that it wasn't necessary, but as I looked in her eyes all I wanted was her happiness. She needed some alone honeymoon time with Phil so I would have to take one for the team. So I packed up my room and all my belongings. My mom and I flew out to Seattle a few days early to shop in Port Angeles for a winter coat and some other items I would need for the colder weather in Forks. We had split up for a second, because it was getting late and we had to go to two different stores ,she wanted to get to the shoe store and I still needed to get a few more sweaters and hats before the stores closed. So we split up (I know you don't have to say it, it's about as stupid as we could have gotten, but it's too late to change the past now). As I was making my way back to her I got turned around on one of the streets and ended up in an ally. As I walked I could hear sobbing in the distance, I couldn't make out who it was just this small figure in the darkness. As I approached I saw a small girl, she couldn't have been any more than 5'2' crouched on the wall of the alleyway. I called out to her.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need me to call the police? DO you need an ambulance?" I kept asking questions, but getting no responses. Finally, I was right over her shoulder, I reached out hesitantly and that when she had me. I never saw her move it was so fast it couldn't have spanned longer than half a second, but before I could blink I was smashed against the wall. From this angle I could see her she had to be the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She an angelic oval shaped face framed in dark onyx locks that curled around her face, but the most disturbing part of her; that marred the beautiful face, and soaked me in fear were the blood red blazing eyes. It was like looking into face of the devil, but I couldn't understand it. How was a tiny little girl hoisting me up in the air? There was no way she could be human (not that the glowing red eyes weren't enough of a tell, but maybe she could have been sick, she was "crying"). She bit deeply into my neck and all I could do was holler in pain.

Lucky for me she didn't just want some tasty fast food, she wanted to hunt. She threw me to the ground and hissed at me.

"Run, little rat, run!"

I didn't have to be told twice; I grabbed my neck and hobbled to my feet. The place where she bit was throbbing and starting to burn, but I had to move forward, I had to fight. I got to the entrance of the alleyway and looked back she was just walking, like she knew she would catch me; like she had all the time in the world. I tried to move faster, but I couldn't. My neck was demanding my attention; it burned as if I was being lit on fire. The more I moved the worse it got. That when I realized she did have all the time in the world, because somehow, some way, her bite had poisoned me; I was dying anyway. She must have realized I was minutes away from going into the light (meaning dying not getting away), because she snatched me from behind and threw me back on the ground.

I closed my eyes, expecting for her to finish me off, when I heard a voice. The voice was even more menacing but also inhumanly beautiful.

"Get away from her, Now!" It bellowed and she growled back at it, but I could tell she fear the voice, because she tensed above me and began to sneakily pull away from me. The growl that emanated from my savior again rang all throughout the alley permeating the very air we were breathing in. It worked, she shrank back away from me, and once I was clear from her he jumped over me and ripped her apart as if she were nothing at all. I remember seeing a flame coming from the other end of the alley before the pain was too much to bare; it had radiated to the rest of my body and I was paralyzed in pain. I locked my jaw, I refused to scream or cry out, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction; not even in death.

I felt my savior hoist me up into the air and take me into the woods. He laid me down in some spongy dirt ditch in the middle of the woods then I didn't feel him anymore. All I remember is him saying good luck before disappearing into the night. I laid gritting my teeth not screaming not moving; just burning in agony for two and a half days. When I awoke I had figure out two things. One, I only know of one being that drinks human blood that could look human while they were doing it, A vampire. And two, if she was a vampire and bit me, then I must also be a vampire now. I won't bore you withal the little details of how I learned I wouldn't burn in sunlight, or how I nearly starved myself to death until I got so desperate I tried to eat a ferret (_so sorry any members of Peta or vegetarians_) and then slowly worked my way up to larger animals all the way to mountain lion which is my personal favorite, and the bigger animals like bears still scared me.

I figured out about my eyes early and commit illegal acts I won't delve into to nab a enough money to buy a bunch of contacts. I knew I couldn't go home but I coerced some drug dealers to nicely point me to someone who could help me. They found me a guy named J. Jenks who specializes in forgeries and documentation. Within a year I was a whole new person, well technically I just my name to legally be Bella Jane Swan. I used my advanced mind to gamble and I made a pretty good amount of money. There was something still hurting me though, and that was my family they were worried sick about me. I had peeked in on my dad and saw the missing posters. I looked into my case as secretly as I could and found that they had seen the large amounts of blood and ripped clothing, they had found all my purchases strewn across the alley. Honestly everyone already thought I was dead; the only one still with hope in their heart was my dad who refused to give up.

I was on my way back from watching my dad when I crossed into Quileute territory. I didn't know that I had done anything wrong I could smell the slight difference in the air but I didn't realize I had crossed the line. They went after me; I never knew they were werewolves I could barely believe it, and the only reason I survived was because of Jacob Black; he was one of my closet friends from Quileute reservation, they call it La push. He could recognize me and they stopped, they demanded to know what happened and then agreed not to kill me if I left their land, but I needed their help. I explained the situation to them and they agreed to help since Charlie is still a good friend to them. They helped me to fake my death; they faked finding me in the woods frozen to death. They came up with the story that I had escaped my attackers but I got lost in the woods and when the snowstorm hit I was trapped outside and froze to death. They're had been some recent murders in Port Angeles; they sent some wolves to find the culprits, and since they didn't take the time to learn their victim's names it was easy to pass them off as my attackers. They brought Charlie in to identify the body and if I could have cried I would have seeing him breakdown on the other side of the glass broke my heart, but there was nothing I could do; this was the only way he could heal and move on.

They buried an empty coffin a week later and it was all over. Sue Clearwater's husband had just recently had a heart attack and died, she and Charlie bonded and from what I could see when I snuck around; they were happy together. I was glad my dad wasn't alone anymore. My mom had Phil to comfort her; dad made sure she knew it wasn't her fault and eventually she was able to move on. I decided I wanted to travel, so I got a passport with my new fake birth certificate and went to Europe. I met other vampires along the way, but I kept my distance I never was able to find the vampire that saved my life, I often wonder where he could be in the world. I guess I'll never know.

I met the so called Vampire royal family the Volturi. After watching them feed I was horrified; I vowed that I would never return nor associate myself with vampires that live like them. I met Kate while she was on her honeymoon with Garrett in Dubai. She was the first full "vegetarian" vampire like me that I had met in all my travels; she was even trying to convert her mate to do the same, they taught me more about vampires and mates. They convinced me to come back to the states with them to meet the rest of the family; they were all so nice and for the first time in a long time I felt at home. I left about month later. I felt there were still places to see, I promised them I would come back to visit them soon and they said I was always welcome to stay they wanted me to join their coven. I was very tempted to; they even had a room for me, but I didn't want to jump into anything or settle so soon I still had a world to explore, so I went to Australia.

I saw kangaroos and pet koala Bears, and it was amazingly beautiful. I was still missing something and that was people to share the fun with. So when I talked to Kate about coming to spend Christmas with them I decided then I would take them up on their offer and join their coven , I mean family. I was so excited I finished up in Australia and checked in on both my mom and dad. I left money in both their mailboxes; I know they would find it weird, but I couldn't just ignore them; not during Christmas. I even gave gifts to the Quileute's, Jacob got them to accept the tiny wolf necklaces I got them all, by then the pack had split in two, it was a happy split due to Jacob finding his mate, a nice young girl named Renesmee, and the pack being too large for just one alpha.

I then made my way to Alaska, where I was blindsided by over a dozen vampires. As I walked into the house arm an arm with Kate I couldn't help my eye's landing on what had to be the most handsome man I had ever laid eyes on he stood at a good 6'2' and was thin yet muscular. He was more boyish than the other guys in the room and had that perfectly tussled bronze sex hair. I was a goner. I couldn't look away; it didn't help that he was wearing black jeans that hugged his muscular thighs, a black t-shirt that kissed his chest just like I wished I could, and a light gray wool jacket with flaps at the top and military style buttons going down the sides. He looked absolutely delectable and as my eyes watched him he watched me.

Our connection was broken by an extremely short way too hyper pixie like person, "Hi! You and I are going to be best friends."

Well she was confident, "Okay, that's nice. Who are you?"

Everyone started laughing, a guy to her left tried unsuccessfully to pull her back, he was a tall thin guy with honey blonde hair very attractive but not as show stopping a as sex himself in the corner still staring at me.

The Pixie, grabbed my arm demanding my attention," I'm Alice, and this is jasper my mate. Over there in the corner brooding is Edward," Edward that's a perfect name for him though somewhat old fashion, "On the couch is our sister Rosalie, and standing over by Eleazar, is our humble leader Carlisle Cullen; Outside with Garrett was Rosalie's mate, and our bear of a Brother Emmett," he yelled a "Yeah!" from outside, I could see why him and Garrett appeared to be friends, "last but never least our dear mother Esme."

Esme came over and shook my hand; she looked like a fairy tale snow white in the flesh. She had long caramel colored hair; she was about 5'6', and had a warm smile in her round face. Her mate Carlisle looked like a movie star with short blonde hair that was set in slight waves a top his head; he stood at about 6 feet and just had an air of warmth about him. He and his mate were well suited for each other.

The one named Rosalie barely looked up from her magazine, but she was gorgeous she had a body that made you think she was photo shopped into this world. She had long blonde hair gently waving to the middle of her back and a round but soft facial structure; poignant topaz eyes, and a perfect cupid's bow that wasn't disproportionate like mine. All the while; she just looked board. I made a mental note to stay out of her way. Everyone came forward to shake my hand; well almost everyone Edward seemed to hang back lost in thought. I finally got up the nerve to go greet him personally when Tanya walked over to him, it was like the world went in slow motion as I stopped dead it my tracks. Tanya wrapped her arms around Edward's waist and leaned into him whispering in his ear. I felt like someone punched me in the gut; of course Mr. gorgeous had a mate; guys like him were never single.

It was official Edward Cullen was off limits.

_A/N: I know I went over Bella past fast but I was eager to get into the main story, I gave you the most important parts of her back story I feel, and the rest I just felt we've all heard and read before. I'm one of those just get to the main event sort of people, and these first two chapters were to get the all the information out and to set up the overall temperature of the story. I hope that I did enough that you can understand it, and we can get into the good stuff from here on out. If you have any problem with it or truly think I need to add more, then I will look into it. Review please._


	3. Chapter 3: I'm Confused?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;]**

Chapter 3: Confusion

EPOV:

Why Tanya, why. Just as Bella turned to introduce herself to me she would put herself all over me. Tanya knows I don't feel for her that way yet and still she pulls these stunts and tricks.

She wrapped herself around me and I had to swallow the urge to gag, and she leaned up and whispered in my ear, "it's getting kind of packed in here do you want to take a walk outside?"

I didn't want to cause a scene especially with all the people in the room. It would only serve to embarrass both of us, but I did extract myself from her embrace, and gave her look as I said quietly, "You have a guest here that's come a long way to see you; don't you think it would be polite to actually say hi, and no, I don't want to go outside with you, not the way that you want me to."

Tanya flinched and moved away from me over to finally greet Bella, though; you could tell that it was a bit forced and bitter. I don't know why Tanya plays the games that she does. She knows the way I feel, the way I've always felt. It hasn't changed before and isn't going to change now. That's not what I want to focus on now anyways; I needed to figure out little Mrs. Mysteriously silent mind. What was she thinking? Was she blocking me on purpose? I could tell she was thinking something; her mind might have been closed but her face was wide open I could tell she was uncomfortable and anxious. She seemed to be working very hard to not seem that way; probably not to make an awkward situation more awkward. I decided to help her out a bit.

"Okay you guys have attacked our new guest enough for a century I think," just as I said this Emmett put Bella back down after catching her in a bear hug that surprised her so much; her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets luckily, she burst out laughing instead of running for the front door. Her laughter was such a beautiful thing; I savored it.

"Edward is right," Esme smiled to me, "how about we all sit in the living room and talk."

For the rest of the night we all swapped stories some, like Garrett's and Emmett's were humorous, but others were harder to get through. I found myself gritting my teeth at Bella's story, and I silently vowed to find her mysterious savior and thank him anyway I could. I couldn't imagine wanting to harm one hair on her angelic head let alone trying to kill her. Me and Jasper were also in awe of her restraint she had as much compassion and respect for human life as Carlisle, and she was only three years into this life. Jasper thought that maybe that was her gift self-control, but I shook my head no to him. There was more than meets the eye when it came to this Bella person, and super self-control wouldn't block me from her mind. I have never been prided on my patience, and after a while I couldn't hold my tongue any longer.

"Why can't I hear your thoughts?" I said bluntly looking at her, I realized quickly that I was the only one who hadn't revealed their gift yet and had alarmed her with the meaning of my ten year old outburst.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean for that to come out that way. My gift is the power to read minds, and up until today I've never been able to turn it off, and there was no one I couldn't her. But, I can't hear you; I was just wondering why?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "sorry about that. When I first came here Eleazar told me my talent; that I am a shield, but unlike the ones he's encountered mine is a purely mental defense. Vampires with gifts that manipulate perception on a mental level I can block. I knew something was up with me, because while I was at the Volturi Aro couldn't read my mind, and Jane couldn't use her gift on me either."

"Really, I've never heard of their gifts not working on someone," Carlisle mused. Eleazar shook his head in agreement.

"That's why I worked on it with her I was interested in how far she could push, or if she could project it onto others and shield them as well," He said rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"We made great progress and soon I could make my shield project out to the size of a baseball field, and I could feel other properties to my shield like a person's life force and the flavor of their talent which was weird. I kind of have two shields really, one that I have trained to project, and one that still stays to block and protect my mind. I still can't project that one unfortunately," She frowned.

"That's very impressive," I smiled over to her.

"Says the man that can read minds," she smirked at me.

"Believe me reading minds can be terrible; if you don't have the vulgar thoughts to deal with it's the struggle to stay sane with all that constant noise in your head," I flinched thinking about it.

"I guess that would suck."

"Don't listen to him; he gets to cheat on everything. We can't even play chess with him," Emmett grumbled from the floor as Rosalie ran her fingers through his head and rolled her eyes looking down at him from the couch.

"I guess you wouldn't be able to," Bella chuckled, "that is purely a mental game."

"You could shield me for a game or two, please Bella," Emmett wined, I just rolled my eyes at him, I could beat him with or without the mind reading. He's always been horrible at chess.

"I think Edward would like to keep his gift in use thank you very much, but maybe some other time," Bella smiled to him as he pouted from the floor.

Bella got up and moved over to the green house attached to the side of the house. It was a heated insulated room filled with flowers that didn't require direct sunlight constantly to survive; they had heat lamps to nourish them. Bella sprits a few of them with water an inspected a few others as I leaned into the door of the room watching her.

She was so graceful I'm sure she must have been when she was human as well.

"Don't let Emmett annoy you he can be just like a kid sometimes," I assured her.

"_Dick_!" Emmett thought at me confirming my point.

"Emmett's fine, I like the fact that people have found happiness in this life. I have met so many vampires that never so much as crack a smile as if hell would freeze over if they were happy. Someone threw you into this world whether under good circumstances or bad, but when you torture yourself everyday mooning over your regrets; then you let the person who stole that from you win," Bella said honestly.

"Sometimes, it's harder to see around the mountain of things you've lost," I said coming to stand beside her.

"I hope you and your family one day will," Bella sighed looking up at me.

"Maybe," I was getting lost in her swirling topaz depths, and I didn't want to come up for air, I didn't need it anyway.

Alice chose that moment to walk into the room and interrupt, "Hey Bella, we got your room all nice and ready. I know we don't sleep, but I'm sure you like a chance to set get settled, relax, and put away your things. Your room is the last one on the left; by the bathroom." (_I know I didn't get a chance to mention it, but it was a backpack she had tucked behind her leg when Edward was examining her earlier_).

"Thank you Alice," Bella nodded to her and passed into the main room grabbing her bag from the floor, and up the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Relax Edward, I'm sure you will have plenty of time with her," Alice smirked at me.

"It's not like that Alice, I just met her. I'm simply fascinated; that's all," I sighed looking at her.

"I didn't say anything Edward, and who are trying to persuade with that argument, me or you," Alice smiled evilly and danced out of the room; back over to the decoration box by the tree.

She was going to be annoying. I rubbed my temples in irritation and made my way to the back of the house. The one thing that I did love about stay at the Denali's house was the library. It wasn't quite as big as the one back home but it had very rare precious books. They were Eleazar's own private collection he procured while he was in Italy with the Volturi. I settle into an arm chair and pulled out a book. I realized it wasn't working when I read the same page nine times and still didn't change it. I couldn't get her eyes out of my head, or the sweetness of her voice. Most importantly her smell; it filled my senses while we were in the green house. It was a soft sweet lavender smell with hints of freesia; it was damn near mouthwatering.

I decided I wouldn't get a moments peace in the library so I got up and went back into the living room. Bella must have still been in her room, I didn't see her anywhere as I walked through. Jasper, Garrett and Emmett were playing Xbox, and Alice and Kate were fighting over how to decorate the tree.

"I'm not counting how many pieces of tensile I put on each branch, that's ridiculous," Kate huffed crossing her arms.

"You will ruin my entire design, please, just put ten pieces on each branch then we add the snow," Alice insisted.

"It's supposed to look whimsical, carefree, and magical," Kate smiled.

"Whimsical, is code for lazy, and Alice Cullen will never be lazy," Alice snapped. Kate being reasonable and valuing her life; wisely gave in to Alice's demands. Alice was a force to be reckoned with; if you stood in the way of that force, it would knock you over.

I smirked at the annoyed look on Kate's face as I grabbed my coat out of the closet. If I couldn't get any peace from my thoughts inside maybe I could get some outside. I slipped on my boots and walked out the door.

Just as I was closing the door back I heard Alice yelled, "Edward don't think you are going to get away from me I will need your help hanging lights around the house later!"

I flinched; not looking forward to that. I went to the back of the house and took a deep breath looking up at the stars. I was just starting to relax when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was excited for a moment thinking that maybe it would be her. My hopes were in vain, for when I turned around it was Tanya instead. My shoulders slumped.

"Hey Edward, I'm sorry about earlier, it just not often that we get to see you all here, I was excited," Tanya smiled nervously; she was hiding her thoughts from me. I sighed; Tanya was lovely. She had vibrant strawberry blonde hair, a delicate oval face with playful eyes, and a figure that most woman would die for. Over the many years I thought of how easy it would be to let her have her way, but at the same time I knew it wouldn't be fair to her. I didn't share her feelings; it won't be right to lead her on and give her hope that wasn't really there.

"Tanya, you know you are far too good to be stuck with likings of me, "I smiled to her and her face fell. I could hear in her thoughts her disappointment.

"But, you like her, don't you?" Tanya said quietly looking down, "I get it, I saw the way you've been looking at her all afternoon. Bella is amazing, everyone loves her, you just can't help it."

"I'm just fascinated that's all," I tried to reassure her, but it fell flat and she shot me a look.

"In all the years I've known you, you've never looked at anyone like that, and she's only been here for a few hours. I'm happy for you Edward; you may think it's nothing, but I know that's not the case," Tanya smiled. She turned to walk away, and then I thought I saw something flicker in her mind before she blocked me out again. The next thing I knew I was covered in snow and she was running away. I laughed and threw a few wads of snow back at her until she covered head to toe in the white powder.

She shrieked and ran back into the house. Alice yelled and said she was making a mess of dirty water and snow all over the carpet. I smiled and looked back up at the sky; once again Bella's eyes were all I could see, but instead of being overwhelmed I just sat down on the snow and enjoyed the view.

BPOV:

I sat in my room looking down at Tanya and Edward talking. They made a cute couple; Tanya was beautiful and playful, but Edward just seemed so serious and steady. I guess they were meant to complement each other. I saw the look in her eyes as she spoke to him as his back was to my window. She looked so lovingly at him; something about it stabbed at my heart. I guess I'm just bitter really. I wish I had a mate; part of the reason why I came back to stay with the Denali's was because I was lonely. Traveling the world isn't as much fun when you don't have someone to marvel at the beauty with you. I never quite got the saying "it's not where you are, it's who you're with," until now.

Having a mate would mean having someone to care for you and only you. An unconditional partner in crime that was made to get and understand you. Who wouldn't want that in their lives? Even when I was human I had a hard time getting people to understand me and really didn't relate well with others. This was the largest group of friends I've ever had, and half of them I barely know. I got off that train of thought it would only serve to depress me more. I had a new mission to focus on, and that was staying away from Edward. He has a mate, and I don't want to start a conflict with someone I'm hoping to call sister one day. I don't even know what I'm feeling; it's more of just a buzzing when he gets near me that shoot's through my body.

That's beside the point I will get through this holiday; Tanya will probably go back with Edward when he leaves, and all will return to normal; I think. I changed into my pajamas; even though I don't sleep I still love wearing them at night, and nestle into the bed. I put head phones into my ears and listen to music for the rest of the night.

When I finally had enough of the music blaring in my ears I grabbed my silk robe and stepped into the hall. The robe and my night gown weren't the most modest clothes I have but I figured the others would be either busy or still enjoying the comforts of their mates; I heard more than a few of their escapades throughout the night. Especially Emmett and Rosalie; at one point I wanted to knock on the wall and ask to join. I chuckled at that thought, I'm sure that would have gone over well. I looked over the house at the lights that they had gotten up throughout the night and the tree. It was gorgeous in here; I could understand now why they bent to Alice's wishes. In the end it was the right way, and yielded the best results. I had grabbed some of my Christmas present I got for the Denali's and put them under the tree. I was hoping I could go into town and buy more gifts for everyone else today. Alice had mentioned she wanted to go shopping anyway so that works in my favor.

I was still examining some of the ornaments when I felt him behind me. I immediately grabbed the ties to my robe and pulled it tighter; it I had been human my whole body would be red.

EPOV:

God, if there is one, is screwing with me right now. I got tired of pacing my room and playing music loud to block out the sex noises coming from many rooms of the house. I had put on my clothes and came in the living room thinking I could go for a drive and clear my head. I turn the corner into the main room and see what has to be the most tempting sensual creature I've ever seen in my life. Bella was standing by the tree examining it with only a thin light silk lavender nightgown that barely made it to cover her delicious thighs. She paired it with a shiny silky black robe that was even shorter than the night gown. The nightgown had lace at the top and hung at her shoulders to tie behind her head. It clung to her body like second skin. Her hair hung in sexy messy curls around her face as if they were intentionally slightly tussled.

She finally noticed me standing there, probably drooling, and grabbed the sides of her robe and tied it together. I would like to say that that helped but really it didn't. With her robe tied it just left me to admire the gentle sway of her backside that really made me want to- nope won't go there. I was eye fucking her as it is. I cleared my throat embarrassed and struggled to advert my gaze when really I just wanted to savor the sight of her.

"I am so sorry I didn't noticed anyone was awake already I was just about to leave," I stuttered out looking at the piano on the other side of the room.

"No, I'm the idiot I should have realized people would be getting up and coming in here. Wait you're leaving, why?" Her voice seemed to be raised a little.

"Not leaving, leaving. I just felt like I could use some air. I was going for a drive; maybe go into to town for a while. Esme said she needed some more food last night so I was going to stop at the store as well," I smiled, I walked over to the closet and put on my coat, gloves, and boots.

"Oh," she smiled looking down at me, "yeah I have to go into town later, and get more presents too."

I grabbed at the opportunity to spend some alone time with her, "Why don't you come with me now? I don't mind the company."

Her eyes seem to waver for a moment, "No, I promised Alice that I would go with her, and anyway Alice seems like she knows how to get things done."

Damn that little pixie, "Trust me if you go with Alice it won't be the quick in and out trip you have in mind. There's good and bad instances with Alice and shopping is definitely a bad instance."

"I'm sure she's not that bad," Bella smirked.

"You've only just met her and you were in you room for the lighting debacle that occurred last night," I shuddered at the memory of her yelling and the constant switching the lights back and forth. If I could I would have had nightmares about it.

"No I heard most of it, Emmett has a horridly colorful vocabulary," she chuckled.

I laughed, "Unfortunately that's true, I apologies for him, though there's no excuse for it. I'm telling you get out right now, most of us still are flinching from the last time we went shopping with Alice."

"I think I will survive," Bella said, "plus I wouldn't want to step on Tanya's toes."

"How do you mean?"

"Her being your mate, I wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable with us going off together," Bella said moving towards the stairs.

I'm sure I didn't hear her correctly, "wait you think-"

I was cut off before I could get the thought out as Esme came running down the stairs.

"Edward, thank god I caught you, I have to add more things to the list I gave you last night. I didn't think you were leaving so soon. Oh Bella, I love the night gown dear," Esme smiled as she pulled out a piece of paper from the end table by the stairs. I'm sure Bella would have been blushing if she could, but for now she just pulled her robe tighter together.

"Good morning Esme," Bella smiled timidly.

Esme smiled as she crossed the room, and Bella escaped up the stairs before I could stop her. Esme prattled off the rest of her grocery list but all I could focus on was one this new startling revelation. Bella thought me and Tanya were mates. How could she think that? I thought over our interactions and realized it probably would look that way. Tanya sliding her arms around me when Bella first got here, us playing outside, because I didn't want to make a scene and embarrass her I instead made it look like we were involved. Great, that's just great.


	4. Chapter 4: Come Again?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;]**

_A/N: Hey everybody, I was busy cooking all yesterday so I didn't really post but I figured I'd give you all a new chapter as a Thanks Giving treat have a happy thanks Giving from me and my family to yours. And to people that don't celebrate, have a wonderful day and be thankful for what you do have even if it's not a holiday for you. Enjoy_!

Chapter 4: Come Again?

BPOV:

"No," I said to Alice for what seemed like the fifteenth time today. If it were up to her I would spend the rest of this holiday practically naked. We've been in the mall all afternoon, and I've been regretting not taking Edward's advice when I had the chance. I had seen the signs of her craziness at the house, but that was nothing compared to Alice shopping.

"Okay how about this?" Alice asked holding up a skirt that looked like it could barely cover a person's birthmark.

"No!" I said taking it from her and putting it back on the rack.

"This?" She held up a top with a slit that would make a stripper blush.

"No, no, hell no!" I say shuddering at the mere idea of me in it, "Alice I like clothes that aren't too tight or revealing. Plus you have already bought me dozens of clothes despite the fact that I told you I didn't want you to spend any money on me."

"Pfft, you say potato, look it doesn't matter all the stuff I got will look amazing on you, and I saw that nightgown of yours. You are the last person to talk about modesty" Alice smirked as I ushered her out of the clothing store. If I were human I probably would have melted into the floor.

"That's different no one was supposed to see me in that. Look I appreciate it really I do, but I'm done for the day. And the next time you invite me to go shopping; I will remember to say no. This is never happening again," I said shaking my head.

"Keep telling yourself that," Alice said chuckling.

I got into the passenger seat and closed my eyes; Alice could be an exhausting personality. If I were being honest though, she wasn't the real reason I was so irritable. The real reason was disturbing and thrilling. Edward, I hadn't seen him since our awkward encounter this morning. It was disturbing because I had never felt so captured by someone before. All day my thoughts have been circling around and around, but always coming back to the same nagging longing. What was he doing? Was he thinking of me? God I sound like such a winy angst ridden teenager, not the twenty year old woman that I should be by now.

I was determine not to be completely ridiculous about this situation. As we drove back toward the house I thought about the fact that I barely knew Edward. Yes, I knew his story, but beyond that I don't know his personality, likes or dislikes. I had all of two conversations with the man, for all I knew he could be a self-centered asshole just looking to get laid and spend ridiculous amounts of money. Even as I thought that I knew it wasn't true. If he was self-centered he wouldn't have tried to warn me about Alice, or go shopping for his "mom."

I was spinning in circles here, but it didn't matter. He had a mate, so I don't need to get to know him better, or figure him out. I just needed to enjoy the holiday, have fun with everyone, and then tell the Denali's that I'm ready to stay with them long term. As far as Edward goes, I will treat him like I do all the rest of the Cullen's; with respect, and overall just have fun. There's no need to make some big spectacle out of this Christmas. They will be gone before I know it, this will be easy.

EPOV:

Was it possible for a vampire's head to spontaneously combust? It felt as if my head would. I have spent my entire day breaking up fights between Emmett, Jasper, and Garrett. Emmett keeps betting against Garrett and Jasper, and when he loses he accuses them of cheating which breaks into a fight. Finally, I got so fed up with it that I took the Xbox and threw it into the woods. Then they ganged up on me. Not my best moment; I won the fight but it didn't stop anything. I only manage to get some peace after they checked the Xbox and saw that it was completely unusable. They had to go into town and buy a new one.

I thought once they were gone I would get to relax, but then I had to spend the rest of the time avoiding Tanya. After Bella's revelation this morning I have been going out of my way to not be within five feet of Tanya. To make matters more annoying Alice kept Bella at the mall all afternoon, and I've been getting more anxious by the second. I wanted to explain to Bella that Tanya and I are not even close to be mates, and that that was exactly the problem I've been having every time I've come to visit. I didn't want her to have any more misconceptions about me. Basically I really just needed some time to speak with her alone, but I had no clue how to accomplish it.

Alice was holding her hostage at the mall and driving me nuts. What on earth could you possibly be buying at the mall that would take this long anyway? Scratch that, unfortunately I knew exactly what Alice does at the mall that takes forever. She buys half the damn mall! That could take a while, along with smelling every perfume, trying on every piece of jewelry, and chatting up every salesman (much to the annoyance of Jasper). Just watching Alice shop is exhausting. Just as I was contemplating going out for another drive to calm my restless spirit Alice finally walked through the door with an annoyed and tired looking Bella.

I took some of the bags out of their hands, and turned to Bella, "I tried to warn you."

She shot me a look, "I thought you were exaggerating; you weren't."

I laughed as we went up the stairs to drop off her bags in her room.

"I would ask you what you got, but I feel that it would probably be faster to ask what you didn't get."

She looked back up at me and got a fake thoughtful look, "um, the parking lot."

"Really, she usually brings that home with her, huh must not have been on sale," I chuckled at her.

"You think you're funny don't you, you wouldn't be if you'd gone shopping with us. Alice shops the happiness out of people," Bella groaned plopping down on the bed.

I looked over some of her bags after I went to Alice's room and set down hers. I hadn't noticed the two large Victoria Secret bags when I first picked them up downstairs. Now they were staring at me like two glaring neon signs, begging me to open them and see what goodies wait inside. I looked away from them before the temptation could get to me. Bella was still flopped out on her bed looking like someone had beat her with a bat, but managing to make the look work for her. Her position gave me a chance to admire her shapely legs hidden inside a sleek pair of black leggings. I also enjoyed the sight of her short dark grey cotton sweater dress that hugged her body in all the right places without looking overly suggestive. Her hair fanned out across the mattress like a river of warm chestnut that I would give anything to run my fingers through.

Her sweet freesia and lavender smell permeated the air welcoming me in and begging me to come closer. Dear God she had been gone too long. I was like a horny kid with his first Playboy. I needed to calm myself so I could focus on fixing our mix up from this morning. I just needed something other than her to focus on to calm my raging hormones. I thought of the ridiculousness of the situation. Yesterday, I didn't even know what these feeling were, and had never once experience them myself. Now I could hardly keep them in check. If I didn't get over myself, and fast, I will probably make a fool out of myself by ripping both our clothes off.

I looked over at the jewelry box on dresser in the corner. She had a delicate thin gold necklace with a small diamond angel charm attached to it. I smiled looking at it; it fit her so well.

"What have you been up to all day?" Bella asked from the bed.

"Nothing much just playing lion tamer to Emmett, Garrett, and Jasper. They are kind of like the three stooges," I sighed.

"I've noticed, but at least they are entertaining to watch," Bella chuckled.

"Not after the third hour," I smirked, then an idea came to my mind as I looked in the mirror, "hey, do you want to go hunting with me? Emmett, Jasper, and Garrett are all in town buying a new Xbox. I smashed their old one. Esme, Kate and Carmen are finishing up the dinner about to head out to the shelter to drop it off. Carlisle and Eleazar are so wrapped up in their latest theory, which may or may not include you, that I don't think they will ever be seen again. At least not until Christmas morning. Everyone else is basically gone or busy; at least it would be something to do. "

"Wait, you _smashed_ their Xbox? You are a very brave man, Edward Cullen," she smirked at me.

"Yeah, it wasn't my brightest idea," I mused sneaking another glance at the Victoria Secret bags.

"I would let you enjoy your peace and quiet alone, but I'm afraid Alice will come looking for me to try on some of my new clothes that she forced on me," She groaned standing up.

"It's definitely a possibility," I nodded smiling. She grabbed her jacket from the rocking chair in the corner (_I thought her rocking chair in her room was so cute; I had to bring it back in my story_) and started walking down the hall to the stairs.

"I think I'll avoid Alice for the rest of the day. I'm beginning to learn that you have to take her in moderation or she will kill you," she smirked.

As we got down to the bottom of the stairs and crossed the room Alice appeared in front of us pouting, I groaned.

"Bella, you shouldn't fuss so much it was for your own good. While you have a few pieces of clothing that are good the rest of your wardrobe was a mess; you needed me," She huffed crossing her arms.

"Besides you will see the benefits of my help soon enough. Oh, and we will have plenty of time to try on and model your clothes when you get back," she smirked and danced away.

"She is an evil little pixie isn't she," Bella hissed glaring holes into Alice's retreating figure.

"You haven't seen the half of it, just wait until she starts trying to configure your future, she is a psychic remember," I said motioning us out of the door. My hand ended up on the small of her back and it felt like flames were shooting up and down my arm. I thought I heard Bella gasp, but it could have been my imagination.

"_Edward don't even fill her heard with that nonsense you know you would be lost without me_," Alice yelled at me in her mind, "_you're just mad that I'm blocking you from knowing your future. Can't you for once just let something happen? Trust me you will enjoy it_."

I growled at her and Bella shot me a questioning look as we entered the woods, "Alice is yelling at me with her mind."

"Alice, leave him alone," Bella smiled.

Alice huffed and went back to helping Esme and Carmen pack up the car.

"How about we get out of here, I'll race you?" I challenged her stepping into her path so we were face to face.

"I don't think you want to do that I'm pretty fast, no one can keep up with me, or catch me," she smiled mischievously at me.

"I think that you'll find I can do both, what can I say, I'm multitalented," I smirked at her; I was beginning to feel like we were talking about more than just racing.

"When I was human I was double jointed," She leaned close to my ear, "in both my legs."

I was so busy contemplating the many opportunities this information could present now that she was a vampire, that I didn't realize she had already started running. I took off after her; then climbed off into the trees using every other branch to propel me forward; helping me cover more ground. The trees were so thick with Ice and snow it was hard to follow her blurring form on the ground. I dropped back down and shot forward. I was extremely grateful for the fact that I had always been the fastest in my family. It took no time at all to catch up to her.

I grabbed her waist and tossed her to the side; jumping back up into the trees.

"Cheater," I heard her yell.

I chuckled, "Catch me, and say it to my face."

"I will," I heard her growl in the distance.

I used the trees to propel me forward and then landed back in front of her. I smiled back at her over my shoulder and shot forward breaking into a vast opening in the trees. It reminded me of my meadow back home, but with snow instead of grass, lavender, and sun flowers. I turned to see Bella as she broke through, but she was nowhere to be found. I flew back into the trees looking for her; with our senses I didn't see how she could have gotten lost.

Just as I was beginning to panic she knocked me flat on my back; landing on top of me.

"I win!" she said smiling down at me.

"Yes, I surrender," I said chuckling at her.

"Or you just let me win," She narrowed her eyes down at me.

"Prove it," I smirked back, I needed to get out of this positions I was enjoying it way too much.

"Listen there something I wanted to talk to you about, preferably while I'm sitting up."

BPOV:

Edward motioned to our current state of "togetherness" and chuckled. I laughed with him and help him into a sitting position.

"What's on your mind?"

"Something you said this morning confused me and I wanted to clear it up," he explained looking into the forest. I couldn't think of anything I said this morning that was odd so I let him continue.

"I wanted to speak with you in private because what I have to say would be embarrassing to someone if said in public, and I hope that what I say can be kept between us not that the others don't know the finer points, but the other details I've kept to myself," He said quietly.

"I don't think I understand," I answered truthfully. He was kind of rambling, and I had to admit his nervous attitude was adorable.

"Me and Tanya are not mates."

I wasn't entirely sure I heard him correctly; there was no way.

"Come again?"

He laughed, "Seriously me and Tanya are not mates. I know how it looked, but that's how it's always been with Tanya. I have told her I wasn't interested in her plenty of times, always in a gentlemanly way, but so far she always acts the same every time I come to visit. I just see her as family like a cousin or a sister but she doesn't fell the same. It's become quite the hassle every time I come to visit; which is why I don't visit very often."

"But she's beautiful, smart, and really nice. You even look good together, I mean what's not to like," I sighed, I mean if he didn't like someone who looked like she belonged on a runway in Milan what were the chances he'd be interested in me. I know when I changed into a vampire I got a little bit of a Bella upgrade, but Tanya was still way prettier than me.

"You're right Tanya is very lovely, but mating doesn't work like that. It's not like human dating where you find someone who is good looking and nice, and date them until you realize you're not compatible or get married. Mating is more advanced than that; it's an instant connection to someone designed specifically for you, someone who belongs to you and you alone, and you belong to them. No matter how hard you try to avoid it both partners can't ignore their feelings for long. They can't be apart, and there will never be another for them," He said wistfully.

"What if you never find that person, you're true mate, can't you just choose to be with a really nice person" I said sadly wondering if I ever would find my mate or if I would just end up alone.

"There have been some vampires that chose to pair off with vampires that weren't their mates, but more often than not there was nothing there, and they eventually went their separate ways. There is nothing like being with your mate, some vampires like Carlisle believe it's because that person is your soul mate, hence the word 'mates,' and the reason you out of everyone in the world survived to become a vampire was so you could live to meet each other," He smiled.

"That makes it sound so beautiful," I sighed looking into the trees," it's like magic or fate, maybe even destiny."

"That's what it seems like, I mean I see it in their thoughts all the time Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, even Alice and Jasper though they are much more private with their relationship unlike Em and Rose," He chuckled to himself.

"It must be so awful for you," I said seeing the sadness in his eyes, as he meets mine for the first time since we started talking. I can see the pain hidden inside them.

"It is hard being in a family filled with perfectly match couples," He said leaking some of his bitterness through.

"No, I mean yeah that part is hard too, but I meant seeing it through their eyes, in their minds, and seeing the way they love each other, being so damn close to something but never being able to touch it and feel it for yourself. It must be torture," I murmured putting my hand onto his cheek and smiling at him. It felt as if my skin was on fire and every cell that was touching his was screaming it satisfaction just like earlier when he set his hand on the small of my back. My skin was on fire and I never wanted to stop the burn.

"Well if it gets a beautiful girl like you to spend time with boring old me, then it was sweet torture," Edward smiled leaning closer to me.

I never expected it to happen but it was like a wave of his scent, a honey lilac and sunflower combination with a hint of something spicy that was all Edward washed over me. It was so unexpected my body just acted of its own will.

_A/N: Sorry to leave you with such a juicy cliff hanger, but I just couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoyed Edward's softer side because my mind is leading me somewhere juicy and sexy next I hope you can take the heat. Enjoy your holiday!_


	5. Chapter 5: What Now?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;]**

_A/N: Sorry it took me so long, more family time and then cleaning time and what not. I'm back and raring to go. I will now be updating Every Friday. Enjoy!_

Chapter 5: What Now?

BPOV:

Before either of us could blink I was on top of him with my mouth sealed on his. I began to lose sight of where he began and I ended. His skin was like fire burning through me changing and morphing the structure within me. I didn't know how to stop, hell I didn't know what stop even meant at this point. He felt so unbelievably good, but it had to stop at some point right? He had me on my back by now and the fact that our clothes were still intact was shocking. I finally managed to pull my head away and looked up. It was pitch black out now, I couldn't believe it. It had felt as if it had only lasted a second, but somehow we've been at it for hours.

I was in bliss until something else crept into my mind. The reason that we were alone in the dark outside miles and miles from the house; Tanya, she had feelings for Edward. While I know that they aren't mates and he has no interest in her I still don't want to deal with the backlash of this situation. I was planning on joining her family, imagine how that would sound.

"Hey Tanya me and Edward are getting together, oh and by the way I'm joining the family! Yay!"

I knew how that conversation would in.

"Bitch" and then lots of smashing and bashing, and while I knew I would win (or someone would step in to stop it) there was no way I could stay with them after that. While I am falling for Edward moving in with him would be going way too fast. I barely know the rest of his family, and there are still lots of questions and things I would like to hear about him. Like what was his mother like, or if he still remembers her. What happened to his father? Does he really think his mom knew about Carlisle being a vampire? Does he still visit his mom grave like I still check in on my father from time to time? Not to mention my father who lives close to the Cullen's if I did move in with them it would be too dangerous; I would be risking running into my father. Suddenly my worries started to make me feel cluster phobic; I jumped to my feet, I had to get away for a minute get some space.

EPOV:

When we finally stop I noticed the stunned look on Bella's face and then looked up. Had we really been kissing for that long? I didn't matter to me though; I had enjoyed every minute of it. I was surprised when she stopped. We didn't need air, we didn't sleep, and we're in the woods so we could go hunting at any time. How on Earth were we ever going to stop? Somehow this was a dilemma I was more than willing to suffer through. But apparently Bella was not. Before I could blink she was back on her feet walking in the opposite direction.

"Whoa, wait where are you going?" I said grabbing her by her waist and pulling her back into me. I slid my arm around her and used my other hand to brush her hair away from her neck (_loved that scene in the movie had to put it in it was sexy_) kissing it slowly. She moaned and I smiled.

"Edward, that feels amazing, but I can't do this, not with you," she said trying to pull away. I grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back into me until we were face to face.

"What's wrong?"

"I came back to move in with Kate and her family. I have been traveling on my own for so long I was lonely and seeing the world wasn't fun for me anymore. Tanya likes you and wants to be with you, I can't risk them not wanting me to stay, I'm sorry," Bella looked sadly anywhere but at my face.

"Bella I completely understand but I want to figure out what this is between us. Tanya know that I don't feel that way about her and she even suspects that something is going on between us already," I said putting my finger on her chin and making her look into my eyes. Her eyes were such a beautiful warm rich gold that seemed to pull me in. Even though all of us (vegetarian) vampires have them somehow on her they were even more exquisite

"Guessing something is going on and seeing it with your own eyes are two very different things, especially to women," Bella sighed, I leaned my head down to touch the top of hers.

"There is no way that we can hide this Bella, and as you have already seen trying to deny it won't work either," I said seriously, "Tanya will see that things are real between us and things will be okay, or you could stay with us."

Bella smiled at me, "as lovely as that is, we have barely had more than three conversations, and you live in Forks where my dad is."

"We have houses all over the world, we can always go someplace else; I hear Maine is really nice this time a year," I said thoughtfully, she shot me a look.

"Edward, you would be uprooting your entire family; that's not fair to them and I can't ask you to do that. I am going to stay here with Kate and everyone. We will just have to keep our raging hormones in check; Tanya is going to be like a sister to me and I have to respect her feelings. I'm sorry," Bella sighed and stood on her tip toes kissing me on the cheek.

"I'm sorry too," I said grabbing her hand once more before she could run back, "I'm sorry to Tanya, I really am, but I am not going to stop wanting to be closer with you, getting to know you. And I want you to know that I will; eventually wear down you defenses and get close to you again. No matter how stubborn you think are."

"I don't think you've seen how stubborn I can be," she smirked at me.

"You've met my family, if you aren't stubborn and strong in your resolve they will eat you alive; especially Alice, you went shopping with her, you know," I smirked over at her.

Bella winced at the memory, "don't remind me. It won't work; I'm serious about this Edward."

"I know," I nodded looking into the threes and then back at her, "I'm just more serious about you."

Bella stayed a moment longer looking at me. Then she disappeared into the trees. I understood where Bella was coming from but I also knew myself. I knew from the second her lips hit mine that I couldn't let this go or pretend that it wasn't real. I was going to fight for Bella and I hope she was as stubborn as she says she is because I'm ready for a bit of a chase.

BPOV:

Edward was trying to drive me crazy; he trying to make me give in and bend to his will. I couldn't I had too much to lose if I did. Why couldn't he just understand my reasons and leave me alone. All week it's been one stunt after another to try and seduce me into to giving in. First it was the shower incident. I had just come in from going on a second hunt since my first had been spent racing and making out with Edward. I had been playing around with Emmett when he thought it was funny to crunch me into the snow. Unfortunately it was soft patch of snow at the base of a semi-frozen lake. I got dirt and slushy snow all over me. I went to get into the shower when I realized I forgot my shower cap. When I came back into the shower Edward was standing in all his naked glory inside the shower with the water running down his body.

It was torture; I almost jumped him right then and there. In fact I was surprised that I managed not to. After that I monitored my senses like a hawk whenever Edward was within five feet of me I never stayed in the room longer than five minutes and with someone else there with us. Never alone, If he caught me in a room alone he would have me. Every day it got harder, and he was always there. To counter my moves he made himself constantly in my presence and close to me. Every time he handed me something He brushed against my fingers sending sparks through my body. If he was in the room with me, he was standing next to me.

Alice had asked me to light a fire (not for the warmth but for the mood and atmosphere apparently that was important) and Edward came up behind me while I was lighting. He leaned into my body pressing every inch of him against every inch of me.

God we fit like puzzle pieces; like my body was crafted to fit every crevice and line of his body.

"Let me help you," He breathed into my ear as he took the lighter out of my hand and leaned us both into the fire place and lit the wood. He bit his teeth into my shoulder softly seductively, and I damn near lost my mind. I found my body twisting of its own will closer to him and turning me face to face.

I leaned up wrapping one hand into his soft wavy bronze locks when I finally came to my senses and pulled away looking around the room. Everyone had quite conveniently left the room and were engaged in other activities. And Most of the Denali's where last minute Christmas shopping in town seeing as Christmas was tomorrow. I pushed Edward away and collected myself taking a deep breath.

Edward smirked walking around my body, "The shower was one, that was two, you can't keep this up. You will give in, and I will get you because you are mine. I figured us out in the time you've made me work for you. We're mates, and you are mine."

"You will really say anything to make me change my mind won't you," I said incredulously. The mere thought that the two of us could be mates was too much. As much as I cared for Edward and I will admit his body had been driving me crazy. It was just a little lust and loneliness. I had come here in the first place because I was lonely. I wanted someone for only me I truly did but the cards just weren't there for that. No matter how good it felt to be with him.

"Why are you so sure that we aren't?" He said, I could tell by the frustration in his voice he was getting annoyed with me. More proof that we weren't mates. We would drive each other crazy.

"I care about you a lot I will give you that, but that's just not in the cards for me; I barely trust other vampires, I'm kind of a failure as a vampire. I can barely stand to be alone as it. I'm just lonely that's all we aren't mates Edward," I sighed looking in his eyes showing him my honesty.

"I have been lonely or over 109 years, I know what that feels like, and you don't just start feelings things for just anybody. For the first time in a long time I have feelings for someone and you have feelings for me too no matter how stubborn you chose to be. Bella, I'm not going anywhere, and I will never give up, I waited over a hundred years for you, and I'll wait a hundred more," He said. I looked into his eyes. He was dead serious.

I didn't know what to think, I didn't even know what to feel. All I did know was that I had to get away. I had been wrong to come back here I couldn't stay with the Denali's; especially since I knew Edward wouldn't give up he really would keep trying to get to me and get under my skin. I left the room and went back into my room. I grabbed my bag and started to pack. I waited until most of the people in the house were otherwise occupied, and Edward was stuck in a conversation with Carlisle and Eleazar. I grabbed my bag and head out of the house into the night. I left a note at the front door and continued on into the woods.

When I felt I had gone quite far I relax a little. It was for the best in the long run. Maybe I can revisit the idea of staying with Kate and her family in a few years. Suddenly there was a woosh of black and a pixie appeared in front of me.

"So Edward tell you that you're his mate and you just flee," I could see the scowl on her exquisite face.

"It's going to be a long enough night Alice I'm not in the mood," I groaned setting my bag next to me, and putting my head in my hands.

"Oh, it's definitely going to be a long night," Alice smirked, "but not for the reason you think. Listen Bella you know and I know that you love Edward."

"I never said I loved Edward," I huffed at her.

"Oh please, '_I care about you Edward you know I do_' who are you trying to fool. You can say care about all you want, but everyone knows what you really mean," She said putting her hangs on her hips.

"Don't you ever mind you own business and give other privacy. That moment had nothing to do with you it was between Edward and me," I said getting annoyed.

"Look at how angry and passionate you are when you speak of just you little moments with Edward. If you leave now you will lose those moments and the memory of them will never be able to sooth the ache that you will feel in his absence," Alice said suddenly serious.

"Who says I will feel anything," I said desperate, but even I could hear the tears in my voice that her words brought on, "I just don't want to hurt anybody; this whole visit I was just trying to find a place where I wouldn't feel so alone and could truly call home."

"I know that Bella, and Tanya knows that Edward isn't hers, the only reason she's even so interested in him is because he says no. she not used to guys not being enamored with her. If he had just said yes she would have slept with him a few times gotten bored with him and gone about her business. Both of them are complete polar opposites," she said looking over at me.

"Not helping me here," I grumbled, I didn't want Edward to hook up with Tanya nor did I want to even think about the possibility of being with her. It filled me with more rage and jealousy than I could even believe.

"Exactly, could you really be with anyone else now that you've been close with Edward?" She grilled me.

"No," I answered honestly, just the thought of anyone hands but his touching me made me feel dirtier than when Emmett threw me into the wet mud.

"And you don't want to be alone anymore and don't want anyone else to be with Edward either," Alice continued.

I growled at the idea of anyone else touching him then hung my head back into my hands.

"Then there is only one choice, and it isn't in another state or country. And it has nothing to do with that suitcase, well, not until later anyway. It definitely has nothing to do with becoming a part of the Denali family, no, but maybe a part of the Cullen family, we are all just waiting on you to decide Bella," I watch as she came over to me and leaned up to peck me on the cheek and then turned to leave.

"You know for an annoying small shop-a-holic pixie, you are pretty amazing you know," I smirked at her retreating figure.

"I know, I just come and make everything better! It exhausting, thank god I don't have to sleep," Alice huffed waving at me and disappearing into the trees.

I watch her disappear and thought over her words. It didn't take me long to come to a decision. I would probably end of regretting this or hating myself for ever thinking this was the right thing to do but it was for the best; the best for everyone. I had made my decision, and I would have to live with it.


	6. Chapter 6: What The Hell?

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight Saga or any of its other royalties. They belong to Stephanie Meyer, that why she's rich and I have too many college loans. ;]**

_A/N: I survived finals and got a new job Yay!Sorry I'm a few hours late. Now without further ado here is chapter 6!_

Chapter 6: What the Hell?

What the hell am I doing here? It's all I've been able to think ever since I got to my cottage in the rolling snow hills of France. The scenery and view have done nothing to lift my spirits since leaving Alaska. It's like his face is on an endless lop in my head taunting me. Like I don't already know that I would much rather be there with him. Like I don't already know that I been feeling ripples of pain every day that I've stayed here instead of gone back to him. If there is a God; I'm seriously wondering if this is my punishment for becoming a vampire. It's my fault, I know it is. I shouldn't have left, but my stupid pride and fear of confrontation got the best of me, and here I am. On top of that I had to know.

That night when he confronted me and told me that I was his mate I couldn't believe it. I had gone so long alone and lost, and out of nowhere there he is. I just didn't believe I could have that kind of luck, not after everything that happened to me. Luck wasn't on my side then so why would it be on my side now? It doesn't matter I guess; this unendurable pain proves Edwards point. I have tried, completely unsuccessfully, to make the pain stop, to lessen; I tried everything. I went back to my normal life traveling and finding nice places to entertain me. But none of it could hold my attention. I tried attracting other guys; after all the Denali sisters have told me about how they hook up with human males all the time. I have worked to keep my touch light and my speed under control; so I knew I could handle it. But the second their hands would touch me while we are dancing or talking, all I could feel were rolling waves of disgust. I never wanted to feel someone's touch less.

My mind, my heart, my body; just every inch of me craved for him and refused to take any cheap substitutes. So what the hell was I still doing here? Being stubborn, I didn't know how I could face him; I didn't know how I could face any of them. All the reasons that I left in the first place hadn't gone away either. Tanya would still eventually find out; whether they are still there or not. Though I highly doubt they are still there, as Edward told me they attend a human high school. I would have to go back to Forks which I couldn't do because Charlie was there. All these things were making me feel like I was in one of those novels about star crossed lovers, and I wasn't appreciating it. I know what Alice would say if she were here.

"I told you so, why don't people ever listen to me," Then she would throw her tiny arms in the air and huff away in frustration. Yeah not looking forward to confronting her either. No matter how I shot the dice the result is the same. I have to go back. Why? Because there is one true fact that will never change; well three facts actually.

One, I can't endure this pain any longer or I will lose touch with sanity.

Two, I was a goner the second I set eyes on him.

And Three, possibly the most crucial of them all, I am irrevocably in love with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

Now all there's left for me to do is suck it up, admit I'm wrong, and hold my head high as I march my butt back where I should never have left from in the first place.

EPOV:

This is truly hell on Earth. Bella disappeared three weeks ago and even Alice can't see where she's run off to though she says she thinks Bella's someplace in Europe. I can't help thinking about all the stupid things I did while she was here. Maybe I pushed her too much and she was so disgusted with me that she had to leave. Or maybe she truly was too afraid to deal with Tanya. Well she won't have to be anymore. I wince as I think of the way I reacted when I found Bella's note. I stormed into Tanya's room and yelled at her like a complete and utter jerk. I kept saying things about Bella leaving because of her and the fact the Bella was my mate and she ruined my chances with her. I had just exploded which is something that I have never done in my entire existence. I'm usually the first person to keep their cool, but instead I made the world's biggest ass out of myself until Emmett, Emmett of all people, had to come in and break it up while everyone else waited outside in silence.

I apologized to Tanya of course once I came back into my senses. She forgave me and even felt terrible about me losing Bella, which made me feel even more horrible for the way I acted. It wasn't her I was angry with; it was Bella and barely her either really. I knew Bella had valid reasons to feel the way she did. It just angers me that she gave up so quickly. She just ran away, and went somewhere that I couldn't find her. It aggravates me so much, and yet all I want is to have her back in my arms. Smell her skin and scent lingering on my body. I groan this longing has done nothing to help. The pain gets worse and worse every day that she is away. I know the rest of the family sympathizes with me. I can hear it in their thoughts. None of them knew what it would feel like to be stripped of your mate and now seeing the impact through me makes them all value their significant others even more. Jasper has taken to avoiding me completely.

The pain and longing that radiates out of me became way too much for him and he started going out of his way to make sure he was nowhere near me. So to make life easier for both him and Alice I've been a hermit in my room since we got back from Alaska; only coming out to hunt and go to school. Other than that I stay in my room listening to music and drowning out the pity and sadness everyone feels for me. I don't want pity or sympathy; as harsh as that sounds its true, the only thing that will make me happy or lift this dark cloud hovering over me is to see Bella's face again. Nothing else will suffice.

"_Edward I need you to come back downstairs_," Carlisle thought to me. He sounded determined to speak to me he even blocked his thoughts. So with a sigh I went downstairs to see what he wanted.

There at the dining table, or as we like to call it our meeting table, were the entire family. All of them covering their thoughts from me. Narrowed my eyes at them staying put in the entry way.

"Oh Edward just sit down we're not going to rape, or shave you," Alice huffed standing up and pointing to the empty seat at the end of the table. I sighed and sat down. If they were all being secretive I know it's not something I'm going to like.

"So everyone, I recently got offered another job at Peacehealth St. Joseph Medical Center in Bellingham, Washington. It's further north than Forks and there will be even less sunshine than we have here. We've been in Forks for three years, I think it's time we got away from here before people start to notice we are not aging," Carlisle ending seriously (_I know I'm moving the story but it will still have the usual characters eventually just at the new school_). I have been noticing a few stray thoughts about it lately but I didn't think anyone had really been paying it that much attention.

"_Besides Edward I think all of us, especially you, need a fresh start and a change of scenery."_ He added in his mind looking over at me. Then I realized this meeting wasn't to convince everyone else it was to help me. They were moving to help me feel better.

"You're not all moving for me," I said gruffly looking at the ground refusing to meet everyone's sympathetic faces.

"Edward," Esme said warmly, "we all just want you to feel better, and I don't think being here will help you much. Especially when Bella's father had to come to the school the last week after that poor boy got into that car accident. You haven't even spoken to us since you saw him there."

I winced at the memory; when I saw Bella's dad interviewing witnesses at the scene of the car accident I nearly lost my mind. I could see some of Bella's features in his face not to mention even though I couldn't completely read his mind I saw the image of Bella in his thoughts when he saw the girl that nearly got hit by the car. She was just as beautiful a human as she was a vampire, he remembered some of his last moments with her leading up to her being "abducted" and murdered. I was horrified with his thoughts, and how he had seen her when the Quileute werewolf tribe staged her death and funeral. I bathed in his misery as it fed my own. I couldn't handle it; I locked myself away to avoid his thoughts, my thoughts, and anybody else's thoughts. I cursed my gift, and for the first time I truly hated it, I never wanted to see Bella that way. They had staged it so realistically if I hadn't just seen her I would have believed whole heartedly that she was dead. They even used makeup to put bruises all over her body to explain away the struggle and blood they found at the initial scene of the crime.

I couldn't get the image out of my head for days but eventually and thankfully I finally did. During that time the thought of being near everyone else just made me cringe so I became even more reclusive than I had been since returning home. I barely even went to school. This was technically the first time I had spoken or seen them in days. Maybe they were right and leaving is just what I need. I know it won't stop the longing for Bella but at least I won't risk running into Bella's farther again. I don't think I could take another trip down his memory lane.

"Fine, maybe your right. When will we be leaving?" I sighed giving in and sinking back into my chair in defeat.

I was thinking in about three weeks that will give myself, Esme, and Alice some time to check out some houses there, take you all out of school, and for me to leave the hospital with enough time to find my replacement," Carlisle said everyone nodded their heads in agreement and that was that. The Cullen's were leaving Forks. Just as I was about to get up Alice gasped. I caught a glimpse of someone knocking at a very familiar looking door when she blocked me out of her mind by picturing Jasper naked.

"Jeeze Alice, stop," I growled at her trying to keep myself from ripping out my eyes.

"Then mind your own businesses," Alice chuckled and hopped up sprinting over to her cell phone on the counter and then disappearing. I only hear a very faint murmur but it sounded something like "Hey, Kate." Why would Alice be calling Kate?

BPOV:

I am such a woos; I've been standing outside of the Denali's house for the last hour and still haven't gotten up the nerve to go in. I know eventually I will have to but I just can't make myself move for some reason. I haven't seen the Cullen's coming or going so I'm pretty sure they're not here anymore. This will be better, because I wanted to speak with Tanya alone first anyway. I owe that much to her out of respect. That is if I ever manage to leave the edge of the forest outside of their house. I finally take a deep breath, grit my teeth, and move forward. They took down all the lights that were around the house from the holidays already, it was kind of sad to see them go. I stepped up to the door and knocked firmly. I felt like I was walking up to an execution, breath Bella, Breath.

Kate answered the door smirking, "well, well, I was wondering when you would finally stop molesting that tree outside and come in. I can't wait to tell Tanya I won the bet; it only took you an hour. Tanya bet three."

If I could have blushed I would be the color of an oompa-loompa, "I'm sorry I'm an idiot."

"Yes you are, for more reasons than one, come on in," Kate said hugging me and ushering me into the living room to the couch. Over her shoulder Tanya slowly walked in quietly. She looked nervous and I couldn't help but wonder if she already knows what I came here to talk to her about.

When she sat down I turned to her then looked down at my hands fidgeting in my lap, "Listen, I'm so sorry I missed Christmas, and New Year's. I just, what I mean to say is, thing was-"

"Just stop, this is getting more and more painful to watch," Tanya huffed wiggling deeper into the couch beside me, "I already know you and Edward are mates. It was kind of painfully obvious while you were here, and got even more painfully obvious when Edward exploded when you left."

Wait what? "Edward freaked out when I left?"

"Oh yeah, big time. He told me why you left and that it was all my fault," Tanya said looking down.

"He shouldn't have said that, it wasn't all your fault. It was all my own fault, I over dramatized things in my head. Doing my usual over thinking thing, and the next thing you know I'm making a break for it. It was beyond stupid but not your fault."

"Yes it was, maybe not entirely but it was. I have had a thing for Edward, but it was mostly because he was the first guy to ever say no. It was a challenge, but I knew that Edward and I weren't getting anywhere. He just wasn't interested in me that way, but the second he laid eyes on you he finally looked a live. I knew it was really over then. I guess it was jealousy that made me still mess with him while you were here even though I knew something was going on between you. I'm not mad at you honestly, a little envious definitely, but I could never be mad you. It wasn't really your choice it was fate or destiny or whatever, either way I can't be mad at that. I just kind a wish it had been me. I'm ready to find my mate I guess."

She finished in a small voice that batted away at my heart; it was just about a month ago I was saying the same thing. My heart went out to her and I silently begged whatever God was up there to send her someone, and make him as compassionate and fun as she was.

"I'm sorry Tanya if I wasn't so crazy about him, both literally and figuratively I would happily give him to you," we both chuckled sadly at that. I wrapped my arm around Tanya and we leaned our heads against each other and looked at Kate. She was wiping fake tears off her cheeks.

"That was so sweet," Kate smiled, I rolled my eyes at her, "now that that's all sorted what do we do now."

"Well I join your lovely family I hope, if I'm still welcome," I said giving Kate my most adorable puppy dog pout.

"As sweet as that sounds Bella don't you have some place to be. You don't seem to be much of a Denali even though we do love you, you are more of a Cullen my dear," Kate smiled at me.

"I'm still struggling with that; though I know it's true," I huffed standing up.

"Well too bad because I just had an hour long conversation with a little pixie by the name of Alice, and she said you would say that so she told me to tell you this," she walked up closed to me and looked me sternly in the eye looking very menacing, "If you don't get to Forks within the next two days and get Edward to take his head out of his ass she will come up here and drag you back by your hair kicking and screaming the whole way."

I swallowed a moved away from Kate. Well, I guess it's back to Forks I go, Lord Help me.

_A/N: I had to make it so Bella left, in the original Twilight Edward did, and in leaving he learned that they couldn't be apart and that it didn't solve anything. Because of that when they came back together they were stronger than ever so I definitely wanted to bring that aspect into my story as well. Hoped you enjoyed that, much more steam reunions a head I hope you've enjoyed the PG-13 because it about to X-rated, oh how I do enjoy make up sex. Just a warning to all readers my next chapter will not be for the faint of heart. Keep reading, and please do review I love hearing from you all!_


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